It's a Girl!!

^{Psalm 139: 13-16}

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

   your works are wonderful,

   I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you

   when I was made in the secret place,

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.

I love Psalm 139!!  It's where I go when I need a hug.  It's where I go when I feel fat, or ugly, or like I have failed.  It's where I go when I doubt my purpose.  And it's where I go when I feel lost.  The entire Psalm is my favorite prayer when I can't find words.  These particular verses from Psalm 139 remind us that no one can create life but the Creator of life.  God, Himself, numbered the hairs on our head and the days of our lives. 

Today, my colleague, my assistant, most importantly-my friend found out that the baby she's expecting this spring is a girl.  This little girl was not part of my friend's plan.  Clearly, however, this precious little baby is part of God's plan.  No matter the earthly circumstances, this child is being knitted together in her mommy's womb by the Creator of life. 

I am no stranger to plan b!  Most who know me have heard me say of Samuel that he was certainly not a part of MY plan....I was done having babies.....or, so I thought.  I will never forget the day I found out that the reason I was so incredibly run down was because I was pregnant.  I was speechless.  For hours.  I was 34 years old, and had recently left his father.  Lizzi, Abi, and I were living with my parents.  My life was a mess.  WHAT was God thinking??  This was not a funny joke!  One could argue that Sam was a result of some not so smart choices in my life.  I would vehemently disagree, not about some of my choices, but certainly about the arrival of Sam.  Babies can be unexpected, but there is not one life that is an accident.  Sam is now 7 years old.  The first 3 and a half years of his little life were tumultuous.  There were (and still are) days when he single handedly puts a smile on my face no matter what is going on around me.  Sam has a HUGE heart and the deepest sense of family.  He loves the Lord, and his very existence has kept all of us grounded at times when we could have easily fallen apart.  With that much purpose in his first 7 years, can you even imagine what God has planned for him in the future??

Sam was not my first exposure to plan b.........when my marriage to Lizzi and Abi's father fell apart, I had to surrender their older sister, Ashleigh to her mother in Georgia.  It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life.  Ash was 16 when I put her on that plane.  She left here not knowing if she would ever see any of us again, including her father.  She was 17 when her dad told me she was pregnant with Haley.  I was crushed.  I wanted so much more for her!  I wanted her to have an education and a life..........clearly God had other plans.  Again, one could argue that my oldest daughter was making some pretty crummy choices at that time.  One might REALLY argue that when a year later (nearly to the day!), Ashleigh gave birth to Autumn.  At the ripe young age of 18 she was mother of two and wife to my son-in-law Alex.  I was so very worried and felt so responsible for her demise.  But again, refer to the above scripture.  In 2009, Ashleigh returned to Kansas for the first time since I put her on that plane in 2000.  Her daughters are smart, beautiful and fun!  They have the cutest little Georgia accents.  And in the years since their birth, Ashleigh has had significant enough health problems that she would not have been able to have children later in her life.  She is a determined, driven young woman and an amazing momma.  She and Alex have weathered many storms together and cling to God for all that they need.  As it turns out, she has a life and an education that is a result of that life.  God knew things that I didn't. 

My best friend, Christy and I have traveled the paths of life together for nearly half of our lives.  I was 23 years old, married, and pregnant with Lizzi when Christy (at the ripe young age of 17) found out she was pregnant with Taylor (her now 16 yr. old son).  We often talk about how much we not only love our kids but ENJOY them the vast majority of the time.  There is not one second of one minute of one day in the last 16 years that Christy (or I) could imagine having ever lived without Taylor.  He is now stands over 6 ft. tall, plays starting center for the varsity football team, does well in school, and is an all around great kid.  Christy grew quickly into a wonderful mother and later added Kaylee to the mix.  She is now an amazing nurse as she went back to school eventually (as a single mom) and has been the ultimate example of tenacity and focus for all of our kids.

Don't get me wrong.  Plan b is almost never welcomed right at the moment it's being forced upon me, or those I love.  I'm outrageously guilty of not responding favorably to plan b most of the time.  But, I will tell you that most of my life is grounded in plan b-or what I tend to view as plan b (or even c,d, or e).  But according to Psalm 139, it's all about plan A.  God's plan. The days he laid out for me.  And the days he laid out for all of us.  The more I learn, the more grateful I am to not be in control, and the more grateful I am for God's grace, for the peace that comes from knowing that He's in the driver's seat.  I am exceedingly grateful that all things really do come together for good for those who love the Lord.  And truly excited to welcome little Sarai and help love and spoil her rotten!

Congratulations Kateri & Richard!  Welcome to the wonderful adventure that was plan A all along!  :)