New Year. New Word. Same Me.

Here we are in the final hours of 2018 and I find myself exhausted when I feel as though I should be energized and contemplative. The truth of the matter is, I have struggled with the feeling that I missed Christmas. The final quarter of this year have been overwhelmingly stressful in my world and Christmas simply happened. I went through all of the motions. Worked with amazing teams to prepare the church for advent, coordinated volunteers each Sunday morning for worship, did the shopping, wrapped the presents, participated in FIVE Christmas Eve services, woke early to have coffee and open gifts, spent the day with beloved family... It all happened joyfully amidst other stresses that are a whole other set of conversations. And yet, I have to confess, I have felt mostly tired. There were three brief and tangible exceptions. They were the brief moments in three of the five Christmas Eve services when I read the story of the baby in the manger from scripture…you know…the whole reason we do all of this crazy stuff. In those moments I felt it…the hope that comes with this baby that we celebrate. And, yet, those bursts of hope were quickly lost in the chaos of the to do list that was still looming.

In the days that have followed Christmas, I am happy to say that I have rested. I’ve slept in, done laundry, sorted some things, thrown some stuff away, spent some time with my family, and moved at an easy pace. It’s been much needed and good for my soul. 

The last couple of days, as I considered the arrival of a fresh new year, reflected on the mostly beautiful journey of 2018, and grieved a little about missing the magic of Christmas, a couple of things hit me hard. 

First, it is still Christmas until January 6^th, and if I am missing it today, it’s my own damn fault. Epiphany comes on Sunday. So, as I contemplated where I felt those glimpses of joy, I returned to scripture. The thing that has fascinated me the most about Christmas in recent years is the understanding that The Word became flesh…God, wrapped in the flesh of a baby to intentionally draw as close to us as He possibly could.  So, I returned to scripture.

John 1:1-18 (The Voice Translation)

1 Before time itself was measured, the Voice was speaking.

    The Voice was and is God.
² This celestial Word remained ever present with the Creator;
³     His speech shaped the entire cosmos.
Immersed in the practice of creating,    all things that exist were birthed in Him.
⁴ His breath filled all things
    with a living, breathing light—
⁵ A light that thrives in the depths of darkness,
    blazes through murky bottoms.
It cannot and will not be quenched.

⁶ A man named John, who was sent by God, was the first to clearly articulate the source of this Light. ⁷ This baptizer put in plain words the elusive mystery of the Divine Light so all might believe through him. Some wondered whether he might be the Light, ⁸ but John was not the Light. He merely pointed to the Light. ⁹ The true Light, who shines upon the heart of everyone, was coming into the cosmos.

Jesus as the Light does not call out from a distant place but draws near by coming into the world.

¹⁰ He entered our world, a world He made; yet the world did not recognize Him. ¹¹ Even though He came to His own people, they refused to listen and receive Him. ¹² But for all who did receive and trust in Him, He gave them the right to be reborn as children of God; ¹³ He bestowed this birthright not by human power or initiative but by God’s will.

¹⁴ The Voice took on flesh and became human and chose to live alongside us. We have seen Him, enveloped in undeniable splendor—the one true Son of the Father—evidenced in the perfect balance of grace and truth. ¹⁵ John the Baptist testified about Him and shouted, “This is the one I’ve been telling you is coming. He is much greater than I am because He existed long before me.” ¹⁶ Through this man we all receive gifts of grace beyond our imagination. ¹⁷ You see, Moses gave usrules to live by, but Jesus the Anointed offered us gifts of grace and truth. ¹⁸ God, unseen until now, is revealed in the Voice, God’s only Son, straight from the Father’s heart.

Second, as we move toward Epiphany, I had an epiphany of my own. How perfect is it that a fresh new year arrives each year right in the middle of the 12 days of Christmas?? A fresh new start. A perfect clean slate for all of the beautiful things that God wants to create in me, in you, in all of us appears right alongside the celebration of His arrival in human form…the celebration of God’s radical reset for humanity. 

Tomorrow I will wake up the same beautiful mess that I am today. The same one of a kind work of art, crafted in detail by the Creator of the Universe. What will I allow God to do in the next 365 days as He continues to live and move and create in me? I’m not a big fan of new year’s resolutions…maybe that’s because I’m not a huge fan of structure. I like to live my life as if there is no box, no limits, and barely any rules outside of BE KIND. So, some years back I started choosing a word for the new year. It feels less binding and leaves all kinds of room for new things to happen, and I have found it to be quite effective for me.

For 2018, I chose two words “open and curious”. My desire was to remain open to what God was doing and join Him there. To allow His direction in my life, my education, my work, my family, and to meet new people, ideas, and opportunities with curiosity. What a journey that’s been! I finished my masters, and watched as God continued to bring together an incredible team at Love139. My family has experienced significant changes and challenges. And I am continuing to be curious and explore new opportunities. 

For 2019, the word is “move”. In all of the busyness of a masters degree, a job, a family, and a new business I have not always done well in making time to move my body in healthy ways. But that’s just one piece of it. I am learning that there are definitely seasons to be still, to wait and watch as God moves. I am also learning that sometimes I can get comfortable and not make the moves that I should be making to join Him at the appropriate time. So, I am committing to move in mind, body, soul, and community. To continue to grow spiritually. To move my body. To act and make moves when it’s appropriate.  

What will your fresh new year look like? Whether you’re a resolution setter or a one-word kind of person like me, I hope you’ll share your hopes for the coming year. I believe there is great power in community and that we can inspire each other to move forward in healthy ways.

As we continue celebrate God wrapped in flesh to bring a reset to the world for these last few days of Christmas and look ahead to a fresh new year, please share your word or your resolutions in the comments. Let’s inspire each other and spend the next 365 days cheering each other on.

I wish you grace and peace for the journey.