The List of Nevers

My son turned eleven on Sunday.  It's crazy how fast that happens.  And as I reflect on the last eleven years he is at the top of a list of things I was committed to never doing again.  His sisters are eighteen and twenty.  As you might imagine, I was done having children...and yet God wasn't finished.  Samuel is hands down the best surprise of my life!  It was a stormy season of my life, and yet here was this beautiful child who still makes me smile at my lowest moments and adds to our lives everyday.  

In January, my husband and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary.  He is next on the list of things I was committed to never doing again.  I was NOT getting married EVER again.  NEVER.  My first marriage ended at the hands of alcoholism and the pain is deep.  My son was from another very unhealthy relationship.  I was DONE depending on any other human for anything, and yet here was this man who's gentle strength and consistency brought peace and healing to my heart.  

In September of 2010 I began my journey into ministry life by returning to college at Tabor.  TWO things on the list I was committed to NEVER doing...returning to college, where I knew eventually I would be confronted with the Algebra that I never could pass the first three times, and working in organized religion (so to speak).  And yet again, here I am, serving full time at Woodlawn UMC and still working on a degree.

Today, I am one quiz and one test away from surviving the dreaded Algebra that chased me out of college many years ago and I am humbled and grateful for the encounter with God in 2008 that led me to this verse "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).  The sound mind thing always makes me giggle and the idea of power and love have led me on a journey to live fearlessly as God transforms me, even if I have to fake it occasionally!  In His grace there is peace and stamina for the challenges.

I've released the list of "nevers" and surrendered.  I love my husband, my church family, and my children deeper because of the journey, and very soon I will be a survivor of Intermediate Algebra!  Live fearlessly friends, you were created that way.  ;)