What a Journey!!

It's been a while since I've posted anything.  So much has happened and I struggle when my heart and mind are swamped.  I anticipated that I would post a graduation tribute for my Lizzi, who graduated from Mulvane High on May 19th.  It was so hard to really wrap my mind around all of the things I wanted to say to her that I kept putting it off.  We had an amazing weekend filled with friends and family.  Watching Lizzi move through her senior year has sparked lots and lots of emotion for me.  There are not words to describe how amazing I really think she is.  And experiencing the weekend of celebration is really beyond words as well. 

Lizzi was five when her dad and I divorced, and she was 9 when he died.  I was in another very unhealthy relationship from the time she was 7 until she was 12.  She is the oldest and she has loved, protected, and "mothered" her siblings in ways she never should have needed to.  By all rights, she could have been a real mess.  However, we were loved and supported by a number of amazing people who surrounded us daily.  We have wonderful family and dedicated friends who we also call family.  Our weekend celebration consisted of an incredible mix of people, blood family, step-family, adopted family, all who have contributed in some way to who she is and who she will be.

Lizzi has grown into quite a young woman.  She moves through life with an ease of spirit that many never find.  She has deep faith, a solid sense of family, a commitment to making right decisions, and plans for a bright future.  Her heart is tender, most of the time her mindset is solid (ha! She is MY daughter so she can't be of sound mind ALL the time!), and she has her priorities in better order than many adults I know.  I'm quite proud and yet, quite humble when I consider what could have been and the number of people God placed in our lives to come alongside her.  I am flooded with gratitude.

Two short weeks later (while I was still trying to wrap my brain around graduation), my sister called late in the evening which is not the norm.  My brother-in-law was in the hospital.  I could feel her anxiety more than usual which left me pacing and upon her second phone call I raced to the hospital to be with them late into the night.  And so began a journey I find it difficult to write about.  He had fought a long hard battle with a rare soft tissue sarcoma (cancer-I hate even using the word), and now it had metastasized in his brain.  She has blogged over the years on it and I can in no way express the things that she shares.  What I can share is that the next ten days were brutal, taking me to places in my walk with God I had never experienced. I stood by watching her wait, pray, and hear from doctors that the fight was over.  I watched as events occurred in ways that could only be explained by the presence of  a loving and merciful God.  I sat with her as she explained to him that there was nothing left to do.  We moved to hospice.  We met with doctors, nurses, and social workers regarding the best ways to keep him comfortable.  We sat with him through fear, frustration, anger, and disorientation.  I sat with her as she explained to their children (ages 8, 10, & 25) that daddy would be on his way to heaven very soon.  And on day eleven, brutal changed to peaceful and I sat with her as she cheered him home to the arms of a loving Savior who would heal him in ways no earthly doctor ever could have.  She knew, and he knew right where he was headed and it was victory!  Together they crossed the finish line in a way that many of us could never imagine and I was there to witness it and the very presence of God was there in a way I had never experienced. 

When we left the hospital that afternoon, we stopped for some comfort food.  A pepsi and a snickers.  Our mom's snack of choice.  We're certain she was there to greet my brother-in-law upon his arrival in Glory.  We were comforted by Steven Curtis Chapman's "Long Way Home" on the radio.  We called our pastor.  We laughed and cried, and laughed and cried.  We gathered with family and told her children.  My own girls who were just seven and nine when they lost their dad came right away to scoop them up, and as a family we began to mourn.  We laughed as much as we cried.  The memorial service was one of celebration of life.  My sister has been surrounded by two church families and the dearest and most precious of friends.  New friendships were started.  There has been love and community at its finest.  Life continues, and it continues to be celebrated. 

In awe, I consider that while I celebrate Lizzi's great success and the beginning of her new journeys, I also watch as my neice and nephew at such young ages embark on a similar path all these years later.  I know that my sister will not make some of my mistakes (she's always been the smarter one).  I know that the kids will be loved and supported in ways that will allow them to grow into wonderful people just as Lizzi and Abbey have.  Most importantly, I know that there is sufficient grace for the road ahead.  I know that regardless of the storms life sends our way, our God has made a promise.  He will never leave us.  "Every single step of the long way home....."

I cannot post this without sharing a couple of links.  First, the song.  (The super cute Lego video!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq9UWomEAVg 

And, second, the link to my sister's blog.  She's one of the most inspiring writers I've ever read.   She's very real and has a faith that won't quit.  So, if you haven't begun to follow her already, I encourage you to take some time to read it. 
http://mrs1inamillion.blogspot.com/2012/06/june-14th-2012.html