It's March! Time for Sam's birthday, my birthday, daylight savings time (which equates to lots of sunshine), spring break, and lots of basketball. March marks the arrival of spring and while many of us are preparing our brackets for March Madness, many are also preparing our hearts to celebrate the victory of the resurrection of Jesus. There are so many things that I love about this time of year! It seems a little cheesy, but the simple sound of the birds in the morning combined with the smell of coffee brings me pure joy and hope for what the new day holds. As the grass and trees become more green it is a time of renewal and a reminder that out of death rises life and beauty, hope for new beginnings.
One evening last week I was at work (at God's house-I love that part!) for a meeting. As people started to gather a precious face from my past walked through the door. It took a moment, but when I realized how I knew her it was all I could do not to simply weep. This angel had been my Alanon sponsor during a time when my whole world had been ripped apart by alcoholism and I was desperately trying to figure out how to survive. I was flooded with emotion as I got to thank her for literally saving my life and for helping me stand up and be the mom I wanted to be in order to give Lizzi and Abbey (and eventually Sam) the life they deserve. I got to not only thank her, but for a few short moments before the meeting I got to share with her the fruits of the seeds she had planted with me. She was the one who encouraged me to be honest with my girls so they would always know they could count on me and repeatedly reminded me that if I took care of myself so that I could be okay-they would be okay also. The encouragement that she and a small group of regulars gave me each week kept me praying and leaning on God. It was during that time that I discovered how amazing grace really is. So I got to tell her how great the girls are and give her the credit she deserves. The church I work in is where the Alanon group used to meet all those years ago. Again, I am in awe of the journey and overwhelmed with gratitude.
The next night, I faked fearlessness and filled in for Pastor Adam to facilitate some discussion with the Alpha group he's been teaching so that he could go fake a little fearlessness of his own. This is an amazing group of people and I knew I was in over my head. The great thing is that when I'm in over my head, I know who put me there. And I know He won't let me drown....as long as I leave Him in charge. We talked over our thoughts and experiences in what it means to really follow Jesus rather than simply believing. A member of the group pointed out that you have to embrace grace in order to effectively follow Jesus and extend grace. I've been really chewing on that statement. What exactly does that look and feel like?
Embracing grace can be complicated. It can be difficult to understand, particularly for those who have a deep need/desire to do things "right". I know many who have struggled with it for various reasons, including myself. It's difficult to allow myself to be human, make mistakes, and in some cases it has even been difficult to allow myself to feel, for fear of being hurt. When we don't allow ourselves to fully receive the grace and forgiveness Jesus offers us, we are cheating ourselves and others out of the life of freedom we were meant to live. Embracing grace and living a life of freedom doesn't mean to flounder around carelessly doing whatever feels good, knowing we are forgiven......it means to live well, trusting that our Creator loves us no matter what, allowing ourselves to be human, allowing ourselves to be all that He created us to be, and living in relationship with Him as we discover just what all of that is. Embracing grace requires us to drop legalism, surrender to Jesus, and to forgive. Love God and love others. It's that simple. (Mark 12:29-31)
I've found that living fearlessly requires me to accept grace. The ability to move ahead fearlessly is about trusting that my life is the hands of the Living God. It's never about feeling fearless. It's always about trusting that I don't have to be afraid. As we move closer to Easter stop for a moment......take a deep breath, and remember that there is grace and that you don't have to earn it. Cut yourself a break! Enjoy the longer days and rest knowing that you have nothing to fear and no shame to carry! Happy Spring!
